Happy Mother’s Day To Me

Mother’s Day feels like it’s been on the way for a really long time.  This time last year I was pregnant with Lentil and I was so excited thinking about my first Mother’s Day with him.  I should be celebrating with my boy but that’s not to be.  Instead I can only go and visit his grave, take him flowers and think of all the Mother’s Days and countless other celebrations that I can’t share with him.  I’ve found the lead up to Mother’s Day hard, the constant advertising, supermarkets plastered in signs making sure we don’t forget.  

It would be so easy to feel incredibly negative today of all days.  I’m trying really hard to stay positive but I have to admit that I’m finding it hard.  Over the last few weeks I’ve had my moments.  Adverts that have struck a chord, maudlin thoughts.  I decided I needed to find something positive about this weekend. So yesterday we went for a 4D scan!  I can’t spend Mother’s Day with Lentil in my arms but I can spend it with Pip in my tummy and Lentil in my heart.  I can appreciate the joy of pregnancy and be thankful that I can carry a child.

Unfortunately most of our pictures make Pip look like Monty Burns from the Simpsons and his or her favourite pose seemed to be reminiscent of Bruce Forsyth!  Despite that Pip is gorgeous.  We have a video of the scan which I will always treasure.  I’m sad that we didn’t get a video scan of Lentil and so glad that we have one of Pip, just in case.

Pip is very uncooperative when it comes to scans or dopplers.  We finally gave up when Pip covered his or her face with an arm and leg, we had to take the curled up, knee on forehead pose as a sign that he or she had had enough of being prodded and poked!

Brucey bonus pose.

  Hiding behind the placenta.

I’m really glad that we went for a scan, it’s nice to have something positive to share with others today but I have to admit, today is hard.  Hopefully next year Mother’s Day will be a happier day although I have been cheered up by lots of lovely messages from friends wishing me a happy, gentle or peaceful day, it’s nice to know that others are thinking of me, view me as a mummy and appreciate that today is hard for me.  I’d like to wish a gentle Mother’s Day to all those missing their children or their mums today.


One thought on “Happy Mother’s Day To Me

  1. Pip is adorable. Those 4D scans are incredible. Your Forsyth/Burns comments made me chuckle.

    Even though we had three living children when we lost our baby boy, I still found Mother’s Day exceptionally hard. I still do actually. It’s that gulf between the expectation we are sold and the reality we find ourselves in I think. Plus we are always thinking of the child who is absent. Hopefully your next Mother’s Day will be much better than this one and the last one.

    Liked by 1 person

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